• The foundations

  

  '57

  1957

  FRIDAY 17th

  I was born in Lucca. It’s May, Friday the 17th, a date that for us Italians is equivalent to Friday the 13th. I learn very soon to switch a potential setback into an opportunity: I’ve always considered that day as auspicious.

  

  '67

  1967

  THE EXTENDED FAMILY

  I spend my childhood in the home of my maternal grandparents, surrounded by parents, sister, uncle, aunt and cousins. Living in an extended family is a marvelous and complex experience. Unbeknownst to me then, it is my first training in mediation.

  

  '71

  1971

  A CLASSICAL EDUCATION

  I start the high school specializing in classical studies “Liceo Classico” Machiavelli in Lucca. We’re a close-knit class and together we learn to appreciate the allure of complexity and develop a passion for challenges.

  

  '75

  1975

  BREAKING WITH TRADITION

  I decide not to follow in the footsteps of my father, an esteemed dentist and director of a university clinic. I decide I will be a lawyer: a trailblazer in the family. I have never looked back.

  

  '76

  1976

  THE DREAM

  I enroll in the Law Faculty at “The Sapienza” in Pisa to begin my path to become a family lawyer and assist couples to divorce respectfully.

  

  '82

  1982

  FAT THURSDAY

  It’s 18th February, the day of my graduation, summa cum laude, with a thesis on labor law, supervised by Professor Giuseppe Pera.

• A young lawyer

  

  '82

  1982

  NO ERASMUS

  Five days after graduation, on Mardi Gras, I begin my apprenticeship at the law firm of Pier Luigi Del Frate J.D. in Lucca. One of the few regrets of my life is not having participated in an exchange program abroad. Erasmus came too late!

  

  '83

  1983

  MAGNUS DOMINUS

  Under the expert guidance of Del Frate J.D., one of the most highly-respected lawyers in my town, I learn to be a trial lawyer and to negotiate traditionally.

  

  '84

  1984

  A MEMBER OF THE BAR

  I pass the Bar exam at the Court of Appeal in Florence at my first attempt. On April 6th I become a member of the Lucca Bar Association. In 1997 I will be licensed to represent clients also in front of the Supreme Court.

  

  '85

  1985

  MY SOULMATE

  At the age of 28 I meet the man of my life. For almost twenty years we live an extraordinary story. I consider as our greatest success the loving bond I still have with each of the five children from his previous marriage.

  

  '91

  1991

  MY FIRST OFFICE

  I open my own law firm next to the office of Del Frate J.D., thus continuing our collaboration until his untimely death in 1994.

  

  '92

  1992

  NEW YORK

  On July 31st I miraculously survive a plane crash during take-off from JFK Airport in New York. From the ashes of the disaster, in which I lose all my luggage, I grab a second chance and fly to San Francisco the following day, as light as a feather.

• A different lawyer

  

  '89

  1989

  THE OUTSIDER

  I’m accepted to take part in a training course at the “Institute of Family Therapy” in Florence run by Dr Rodolfo De Bernart and Dr Cristina Dobrovolsky. I’m the only lawyer in the program on family therapy, which I will complete in 1993.

  

  '90

  1990

  THE PIONEER

  I participate at the first European Congress on “La médiation familiale” in Caen, in Normandy.

  

  '93

  1993

  AIAF

  I become a member of the newly-founded AIAF, “Associazione Italiana degli Avvocati per la Famiglia e per i minori”. I’m the President of the Tuscan section and a member of the national board.

  

  '95

  1995

  FAMILY MEDIATION

  I obtain the qualification of Systemic Family Mediator. My career is increasingly focusing on family law and soon this becomes my exclusive field of practice.

  

  '98

  1998

  FAIR PROCESS

  Whit my AIAF colleagues, we painstakingly work to ensure that in the Juvenile Court, and more generally for all family law cases, that a fair process is guaranteed. At the same time we are making a strong case that family law should be acknowledged as a specialization for lawyers and judges.

  

  '00

  2000

  WORK AND LIFE

  Family care is the core of my life, as my companion’s health is becoming ever more critical, but I’ve successfully been doing a balancing act.

  

  '04

  2004

  MORE TRAINING

  I register for a two-year long course in Family Mediation at the “Centro per l’Età Evolutiva” in Rome, under the SIMEF Umbrella, and run by Dr Francesco Canevelli and Dr Marina Lucardi.

• A children’s lawyer

  

  '01

  2001

  ADVOCATING FOR CHILDREN

  I’m fully involved on the team of advocacy for children and minors, also thanks to the fact that I’m frequently appointed as their guardian ad litem or tutor by the Juvenile Court of Florence. Some experiences are unforgettable, and I carry memories of many of those children with me today. I also attend the conference organized by the “Associazione Italiana dei Magistrati per i Minorenni e per la Famiglia” on “Il bambino e il giusto processo” at Levico Terme (Trento).

  

  '02

  2002

  THE CHILD’S LAWYER

  After the introduction in Italy of the Child’s Lawyer (Law 149/2001), as president of AIAF Toscana, I organize two international training events in Lucca. A great responsibility and honor.

  

  '02

  2002

  FROM THE USA

  I discover two great experts in advocacy for children in America, Anne H. Haralambie and Jaen Koh Peters, and thanks to the support of AIAF, I succeed in bringing them to Lucca as trainers.

  

  '04

  2004

  ADIEU

  In November my companion passes away and, only two months later, my father as well. Soon I move back to my large family house in the countryside.

  

  '07

  2007

  305

  I begin to produce the limited edition, premium, extra-virgin olive oil called 305. Its name comes from the number of olive trees in my family’s olive grove. It is awarded the celebrated IGP label, and also mentioned in the Slow Food guide.

  

  '11

  2011

  THE AIAF SCHOOL

  AIAF sets up a school for lawyers who want to specialize in family law. I am a member of its Scientific Committee, as well as its faculty.

• A collaborative lawyer

  

  '10

  2010

  THE BIRTH

  Milan, March 25th. We are 64 AIAF lawyers who set up AIADC, “Associazione Italiana Avvocati di Diritto Collaborativo”, a week after the first course in Italy on Collaborative Practice, and I’m a board member right from the onset. In 2014 we change our name to “Associazione Italiana Professionisti Collaborativi”.

  

  '10

  2010

  MEETING MY MENTORS

  In June, I take part in AIADC’s international debut in Bad Aibling, near Munich. This is where I meet Jack Himmelstein, Gary Friedman and Sherri Slovin Goren, all of whom would become my mentors in my retooling as a negotiator lawyer.

  

  '10

  2010

  IN AMERICA

  In October, I participate in Washington DC, at IACP’s (International Academy of Collaborative Professionals) 11th Forum as a new member. I am the only Italian collaborative lawyer present. Since then I have been attending every IACP annual Forum and many other events in Europe. 17 Italian participants attended the IACP Forum in 2018 and 2019.

  

  '12

  2012

  HOME IN MANHATTAN

  Returning home from New York, with a set of house keys of my dear friends in my pocket, and a pair of my running shoes left behind, makes me feel that New York is home every time I go back.

  

  '15

  2015

  MILAN

  Expo has transformed the city and again here I get a full charge of energy.

  

  '16

  2016

  LEADING AIADC

  In March 2016 I become AIADC’s President for the next two years, after being President-elect since 2014. In 2018 I was the Past-President.

• A negotiator lawyer

  

  '17

  2017

  WITHIN THE WALLS

  I sell my country house and move into Lucca’s downtown and the warm embrace of the Walls. From here I make ever more frequent travels, curious of the new people and places around me.

  

  '17

  2017

  AS A TOURIST

  Travelling in Boston I visit the Harvard Negotiation Institute and vow to come back as a trainee.

  

  '18

  2018

  ISTANBUL

  Easter is the chance to discover Istanbul. The magic of the Bosphorus and charming complexity of Turkish culture leaves me speechless.

  

  '19

  2019

  AS A TRAINEE

  In June I participate in a course on interest-based negotiation at the Harvard Negotiation Institute, the international center of excellence on this subject.

  

  '19

  2019

  PON GLOBAL MILAN

  In November I have the unexpected chance to attend a new training course from Program on Negotiation which is organized in Milan by Harvard Law Institute. This “flying” course is a perfect coincidence and opportunity for my education and goal of learning always on the move.

• A lawyer during the pandemic

  

  '20

  2020

  IN LOCKDOWN

  It’s the beginning of March. From one day to the next, things change - we have to stay home for a long lockdown. Everyone hopes that once out we’re a better version of ourselves, more united.

  

  '20

  2020

  COURTS IN QUARANTINE

  Only Alternative Dispute Resolutions are still operational, based on consensus and on the creative capacity of individuals to find solutions.

  

  '20

  2020

  SO FAR AND YET SO CLOSE

  The lockdown spurs us to invent a new reality, of life and work. The law office empties and Zoom fills with so many faces, each from their own balcony. It’s by negotiating online that I experience the greatest connection and understanding with others.

  

  '20

  2020

  FROM THE SEVEN CONTINENTS

  I am the European “voice" of international negotiating experts in a project conceived by Gregg F. Relyea: A multi-authored article on the impact of the pandemic on conflict management and lessons drawn for the future.

  

  '20

  2020

  THE REOPENING

  On May 3rd we are finally “liberated”. Uncertainty awaits us outside, inside I wonder: what lessons have I learnt?

• A resilent lawyer

  

  '21

  2021

  AN AIADC TRAINER

  I become an AIADC trainer and start teaching online courses on negotiation and on collaborative practice. Every teaching opportunity is also a learning opportunity for me.

  

  '21

  2021

  PICCOLI NEGOZIATORI CRESCONO

  For the world to become a better place we must start with children and as children. With this conviction, I translate Gregg F. Relyea and Joshua N. Weiss’ book Trouble at the Watering Hole - The Adventures of Emo and Chickie. The Italian version is entitled Piccoli negoziatori crescono - Le avventure di Emo e Chickie.

  

  '22

  2022

  A MASTER TEACHER

  After having read so much of his work and having been inspired and guided by it, I have the chance to follow a course led by William Ury, the pioneer of the art of negotiation, and also the co-founder of the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.

  

  '22

  2022

  LAW FIRM OF THE YEAR

  My firm earns the honour of being voted one of the Best Italian Law Firms of 2022, based on a survey conducted by the Statista and Il Sole 24 ORE. It is as unexpected as it is wonderful.

  

  '22

  2022

  THREE SUITCASES

  At this stage of my professional journey I have three suitcases containing all the tools and skills needed to assist clients in every possible scenario: in trial and traditional negotiation, in interest-based negotiation, and in collaborative negotiation. My original goal of helping clients and families divorce respectfully continues.

Who I am today

I am a family lawyer and negotiator with over thirty five years’ experience in litigation. My practice focuses exclusively on family and juvenile cases, of every type, with an emphasis on legal separation, divorce, custody and child abuse proceedings.
In my long professional career I have dealt with a great number of very complex cases. Most of them have been separations and divorces involving intricate questions relating to division of property and assets, alimony, child custody, parental rights, relocation.
I have been involved in status proceedings, in adoption and child abuse and neglect cases both as a lawyer of one parent or as tutor or guardian ad litem of the children.

From the very onset, I have always made room for my own ongoing learning and development not only in substantive and procedural law, but also in mediation and negotiation. Getting qualified in Collaborative Practice in 2010 is an achievement I am particularly proud of.
I do think that one isn’t automatically an expert negotiator purely by virtue of being a lawyer. Mediating and negotiating require unique abilities acquired through specialist training and expertise. My own skills in mediation, interest-based negotiation and collaborative practice have been honed at innumerable courses held by highly accredited national and international trainers, in Italy and abroad.

From my point of view, family disputes deserve the highest caliber of mediation and negotiation skills, so that they are settled as amicably as possible. Best is without the intervention of a judicial authority, whose judgement, no matter how sound, represents a defeat for all, regardless of who emerges as the “winner”.
There are truly just a very small percentage of family conflicts that can’t be resolved through expert negotiation.
That’s why I go on practicing also in the area of litigation, as I believe my background as a negotiator and as a litigator combined, allow me, now more than ever before, to find and seize the smallest of opportunities for an amicable resolution, that might be concealed somewhere in the folds of the most intractable of cases. In its absence, to create such an opportunity myself.